Excerpt from Chapter 7: Sicarius
I staggered out of the car. My phone was ringing. I ignored it. I felt an emptiness that threatened to devour me from the inside. I opened the door to my house and the pit greeted me, welcoming me back. I went to the bathroom. Nausea swept over me and I violently threw up in the toilet. I reached for the basin and splashed cold water on my face. I raised my eyes. I saw my reflection. And I loathed the face that looked back at me.
The guilt. The pain. The anger. It burned. It hurt. I threw my fist forward and struck my reflection in a burst of hatred and rage. The mirror cracked with a shatter that echoed throughout the pit. My hand stung; tiny fragments of glass were stuck to it. Warm droplets of blood fell to the basin. I saw my true self in the broken fragments that remained.
How could I ever hope to save Jess if I was weak?
In my mind I saw the killer; the face of my darkness. I saw my failures. I saw the decisions I had made that had brought me here, and how I had failed to learn. Drops of water fell down my face. The darkness spread; the pit became infinite. And my eyes opened.
I finally saw, buried deep within the darkness, what I had to become to stop men like this.
What I had to become to save Jess.
I left the bathroom. My phone was still ringing. I drowned out the sound. I reached for my gun. I dropped my badge onto the floor. I retrieved the second phone I had acquired previously. I opened my door and stepped out of the pit and into the downpour.
I looked up at the sky. Lightning struck. For a second the world was engulfed in brilliant white light. I felt the rain on my face. I felt it sink into my skin.
It was a baptism. And I was no longer the same.
Deep within the clouds the storm raged, unleashing its fury upon the world.
I only had one thing on my mind.
It was personal. This was my mistake. This was my lesson. The beast writhing within me, perpetually calling for blood, was awakened. And I let it free.
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